Monday, June 28th, 2010: An ordinary person does not drink on a Monday and if they do it is maybe a beer or two. In my world, Monday is the new Thursday and anyone who has a social life in college knows that Thursday starts the weekend (technically) and Thursday is all about raging (one of my favorite activities). In attempt to not spend as much money, me and my bestie Brittany decided that we would not be out late (past 1 am) and that we were just going to "take it easy" tonight. It still sounded like a fun night though. Our original plan started out that we were just going go to Wild Wing and watch the game with some good friends, maybe get some wine and go to a friend Kate's house after and just chill. A solid night. Well you could say that we deviated from the plan just a smidge...
We got to Wild Wing and started talking to our friends and they informed us that we just HAD to come over after and drink with them so we agreed after we got out wine that went to Kate's that we would stop by for a little bit. After seeing a few other friends there we left and went to the notorious "Shiv" to get our supplies. If you are from Columbia, you know about the "Shiv". It is the single handedly the easiest place to buy alcohol underaged. You could look nothing like your ID and they will pass that shit out like candy. So we left the "Shiv" with a bottle of Chardonnay and a 6-pack of Michelobe Ultras and I got this feeling that we were going to end up staying up all night and getting really wasted. I told Brittany and I think she agreed because Mondays are the new Thursdays and that means greatness. So we went to Kate's and opened the bottle of wine. Brittany and I had just two glasses of wine, but by the time we left we were already spilling the "OMG REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE SO DRUNK AND WE DID THIS (fill in the blank)". Yeah we were pretty entertaining and the night only got better from there. So Brodie and Logan (our friends we were with earlier) just live around the corner from Kate so we drove over there and this is when the night started to get rowdy.
We were singing Young Jeezy and screaming "I LOVE WINE" by the time we were in the car. I looked at Brittany and said "Yo, I don't think we can make it home." She agreed and so we rolled up to the next party with the rest of our wine and a 6-pack and got the party started. As soon as we walked in hollerin' and being rowdy I knew it was going to be a great night. Brodie just looked at me stuck a BudLight in my face. I did what any slightly tipsy person would do and screamed beer pong and played a game. Just as I finished my game, Carolina won their game so everyone started chest bumping and screaming "DT, DT, DT!" I'm like FUCK YEAH DT! So then we all go outside and proceed to downtown. First we went to Village (it used to be fun but not so much anymore). So after Brodie and Brittany quit playing a game of grab ass and we took a couple of shots we went to the Mecca of Monday nights: PAVLOVS. Pavs is the reason why I am broke, because I spend so much money at Pavs on Monday nights. Its bad when you can spend more than 10 dollars at 50 cent shot and dollar liquor night. But hey, I'm in college and I don't have to worry about alcoholism until after I graduate. So we went to Pavs for a bit and got really drunk. It took me a while, but I realized that Brodie was no longer with us. I couldn't remember the last time I saw him so I texted him and said "Where did you go?" He texted back and said "My apt" so I got Brittany and we walked back to his apartment. When we got there our friend Chris was....well doing something unmentionable on here...and Brodie was supposedly having sex with a fat girl? Still haven't asked him about that so I asked what had happened to Brodie before that and they said that he called and said that he needed to be picked up. They found him running around at the corner of Pickens and Gervais (a part of Columbia that is NOWHERE near 5 points) and he didn't know why he was there. HAHA! He seriously had walked like 3 miles and his apartment was like a couple hundred yards away...Classic.
So we were fucked up and someone said something about a swing. Everyone like freaked out and was like "OMG yeah lets go to the swing!" So we did. Brittany being the bold and daring girl that she is got on the swing first. Logan began to push her and she fell backwards and we laughed. The funniest thing was yet to come though. Logan pushed Brittany a little too hard and she fell face first into the dirt. Seeing as it was 3 am Brittany was pretty tired. She layed there face in the dirt flat as a board and didn't move. At the same time the people who owned the swing came outside and were very confused as to why we were on their swing and why are friend was laying in dirt. We just laughed really hard and just told them we were fucked up and that Brodie and Logan lived down the street.
Just then, someone got hungry (probably me) and so we had to make a decision between IHOP and Wa-Ho. IHOP was closer so we decided it was better cause we were fucked up and shouldn't have been driving. So Logan picked Brittany up and carried her to the car cause she was still sleeping and we drove to IHOP. This might have been the scariest ride of my life. Picture putting you life in someone elses hands and having them be reckless with it but the thrill to so fun that you don't want them to stop being reckless....yeah thats how this was. Logan was going what seemed like 100 miles and hour down Blossom St. and Assembly. I think we made it to IHOP in about 2 mins. Stunt driving is fun, but not safe. We get to IHOP and Brittany wakes up and our friends Robby and Haley meet us there. Robby mad a rude comment to Brittany and she gets HELLA pissed off. Through out entire 4 am breakfast she is pissed and is yelling at Robby across the table. To say the least, we were the fucked up ones on a Tuesday morning in IHOP. After falling asleep in her hashbrowns, we decided that Britt needed to go home and so we drove the speed limit (I think) back to Logan and Brodie's apartment where I think Brodie was still fucking the fat chick. After some good ole fashion life talks with Logan I went to sleep only to wake up at 8:30 that morning and had to drive home (still drunk). I love my life.
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